My Brother Mike

Mike joined our family as my younger brother when I was five. I don’t remember much of those early days except that my parents were worried about Mike’s health and future. Yes, Mike was different, but to my family Mike was first and foremost a son and brother. Some may have looked at Mike differently, but my Mom and Dad would have none of it. Instead, his successes and achievements were celebrated along with those of my other brother and me.

Mike was born with a developmental disability in what was thankfully a “goldilocks” time period. Born after the horrors of institutions were exposed as local, state, and federal governments began to recognize the need to provide resources and a quality education that maximized the capabilities of individuals. Mike attended Ridge school where he thrived. He played on sports teams, learned meaningful life skills, and made lifelong friends. Today, the debate over schools for people with disabilities versus mainstreaming has tilted toward mainstreaming, but for my brother, the education and experiences at Ridge school along with the love and attention from his family were invaluable and left Mike with no lack of confidence.

Mike joined Boy Scouts and over the course of more than a decade, managed to achieve scouting’s highest rank of Eagle. He was involved in drama and was never shy about sharing his thespian talents with an audience. Over the course of many years Mike collected a wall of medals from a variety of special Olympic events including swimming, track & field, bowling, and skiing. He is well traveled, having cruised to Alaska, skied in Utah, vacationed in Mexico, journeyed across Ireland, and crisscrossed the United States. For the past two decades, Mike has worked in the grocery business. He is well known and respected for the care and attention to detail with which he performs his duties.

And along the way, he passed life lessons to me that resonated to my deepest core. Lessons more relevant and meaningful than from a sage. Mike’s needs showed me what a parent will do and should do to protect their child’s dignity and foster their full potential. I marveled at Mike’s effort and determination required to master the task of tying shoes, riding a bike, or communicating clearly. I learned what true sacrificial love is and what it means to put someone you love first. When others might tease, I discovered what is required to fight for justice even if that justice was handed out through martial means. I learned that everyone has a right to be treated equally and respectfully regardless of their physical or intellectual differences.

Mike is a fine man, as interesting and as imperfect as the rest of us. When those not part of the disabilities community comment that, “they are always so happy,” I chuckle and think of all of the times that I argue with my brother like anyone else. I provoke and tease my brother like any big brother would do. And I live with the idiosyncrasies that make Mike unique. Some of those include that only birthday cake ice cream with rainbow sprinkles will do. Pizza from Papa John’s on Friday nights and Uno at 9pm, not before. A “yes or no” question is usually followed by a response of “maybe,” and any input or counsel to Mike inevitably elicits the retort of “I know that!” But if a measure of one’s life is the ability to touch the lives of others and inspire those around you to be the best version of themselves, then Mike leads a life that is sublime.